the hive

in light of anna cotter's counsel, i have chosen to break up these entries so as to not inundate the reader with awesomeness.

last week was full of dubu kimchi and beksaeju, as any good week is. "scott what the fuck you broke the bottl- john where did you just get that from?"

school was pretty awesome, also. tuesday and thursday i got to decorate my classroom for halloween with my kindergarteners (i neglected to take pictures) and they were so excited to do it that they worked really well together. also, after some mild emotional abuse/prodding, even jin woo became my best friend after we solved the issue of "TEACHER WHY NO SPIDER?!?" wednesday, i became responsible for mc-ing an entire event on recycling, for which i had only prepared by finding that musical spring cleaning episode of rocko's modern life (zanzibar).

on friday we spent about three hours at a massive awards ceremony slash birthday party for all october birthdays, wherein the kids were rewarded for apparently every success they've had in the past month, no matter how small. and i mean EVERY kid. at one point one of the seven-year-olds just looked at me, certificates and decorative pencils flying out of his hands, and said tragically, "teacher, TOO MANY presents."

AND, check out clara's baller sweatshirt:

and, because they're all attention whores, here's everyone else that had to jump on board:
daniel, marian, and andrew (who just started wearing that FABULOUS vest over his uniform this week).

eric (who needs a nap), marian, and jin woo (who is clearly plotting to make me feel like a bad teacher).

JIN WOO I LOVE YOU PLZ LOVE ME BACK

and while we're on the subject of school, the fantastic birthday card that my kids made for our kid in indonesia, which my korean teacher promptly folded like four times and shoved into an envelope:

over the weekend scott and mike and john and i had every intention of going to everland with andrew and angie on saturday because they could get us half-off admission. for this reason, we decided that we would have a low-key friday night, just a small book exchange at a bar in seohyeon. this place has darts, it'll be fun. well i guess while we're here, we might as well do shots. well, if we're doing shots, we should eat. well, if we're going to eat, we should get some beers. no don't worry i'll cover this tab. oh shit korean cards get turned off between midnight and two am, what the fuck is that shit? no it's cool i have cash to cover us. WHAT WHY ARE WE GOING TO THIS FIELD. are we really going to play capture the flag? ok we're on opposite teams but i'll just get myself in jail and we can just sit here and drink together.

suddenly we look up and this kid is on the ground and clearly in a lot of pain, insisting that his shoulder has been disconnected. after scott and junyoung investigated, they established that he had obliterated his clavicle and also that any sudden movement would result in an instantaneous puncture wound to the lungs. our medics then rushed him back over the river and through the woods (legitimately - there were stepping stones to get to where we were) and called an ambulance before realizing there was a cab in front of us. clavicle, his wife, junyoung (to translate), and scott hopped in the cab, leaving me and john high and dry with a disbanded game of capture the flag and nothing but our small strips of red ribbon hanging pathetically from our coats.

john and i managed to grab a cab back to civilization, and after some street food got in touch with scott, who reported that he and junyoung would head home to meet us at bargules (it was about three, and we were all still working on an early evening). unfortunately, immediately after arriving at home, scott and i spoke, and he reported that they were at mad dog's in seohyeon, and obviously they couldn't leave, they just ordered food. so john and i track down another cab, pile in, and i tell john to tell the driver where we're going. unfortch i didn't listen, and was utterly confused when we got to mad dog's and found it closed. "that's because we're in seohyeon and you're in ori." another cab. "you're at seohyeon yuk." "yeah but we're in the middle of a road under an overpass." "IT'S COOL WE CAN GET OUT HERE." another cab. W2300 and i realize we were a block from where we needed to be. i manage to find scott and junyoung, the latter of which peaces immediately (after learning, i suppose, that we just were not going to work out) and john passes out in the booth. where he remained. until we left at five thirty. and after. because we can not carry him.

needless to say, no everland happened.

and thennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn saturday night we had a "table" reserved in a "vip room" at a "club" where we got half-priced "bottles." i am not a bro. though maybe i am, because it turns out clubs are pretty lame. we went to hear this band (ensemble? dj/house musicians?) because we know some of the guys in it, but the whole experience was kind of odd. "soo ... do we just hang out with each other in this corner? how do we make friends? wtf, stop giving our alcohol to random dudes." i also gained and lost an immense amount of street cred in the period of about six seconds with this huge black dude that sat next to us.

s: where you from, man?
hbd: baltimore.
s: she lived there!
a: i went to hopkins!
hbd: ...
a: :(

this is what having fun in a club looks like, apparently:
"I GOTTA GO I'M ENJOYING MYSELF IMMENSELY"

"IF WE PRETEND TO BE DRINKING MAYBE WE'LL GET DRUNKER"

"THIS IS WORKING OUT SWIMMINGLY"

i DID successfully get everyone home (such a good mother hen!) and convince byung not to sleep in his car, though apparently did not successfully convince him not to drive it. i can only do so much.

eric needs a nap

one of my less attentive kindergarteners, eric, has been particularly lethargic this week. whenever i've asked him what's wrong, he just says "eric needs a nap." apparently today he passed out on the table during speaking class. i should have listened.

i've had a pretty preposterous week or so. last saturday night i went to dongdaemoon with mike, john, and scott to go shopping, hoping it would be a low-key follow-up to friday night's fiasco. clearly, i have learned nothing since i've been here. after buying a sweet new sweatshirt and a shirt that reads "life in general ruins my nerves," we headed to itaewon for some mexican foods and planned on home. instead, scott managed to escape and john and mike and i ended up in hongdae (lol). it was early, so the bar we went to was almost empty, which was great because i could request all the bad music i wanted and we could play wii sports for free. these two girls, one mexican and one korean, approached us and asked if they could play with us, and we ended up hanging out with them for the rest of the night. at some point we made a transfer to this super swanky and overpriced lounge, and upon our departure from the lounge (on our way back to the original bar), we misplaced john. he was determined to find a pc 방 (i'm pulling a shannon koh) to watch a football game, even though i tried to explain that the game had started at two am, and it was four thirty and probably over already and if it wasn't it would definitely be over by the time he found somewhere to watch it, as we were in the far reaches of hongdae. my arguments fell on deaf ears and we parted ways.

when we got back to the original bar, i was ready to put my moves on the mexican girl (regina), as she had seemed pretty cool. unfortunately, pretty much immediately after we got there, john started calling and asking where we had gone, and i spent the next forty-five minutes running up and down stairs at the bar to go outside and describe where we were (i cannot stress enough how ridiculous the lack of street names and addresses in this country is). when i finally lost contact with him, i went back downstairs to find regina making out with some dude. nice.

mike and i peaced, after a cursory search of the surrounding area. we found out the next day that the reason john stopped responding was not due to losing his phone, but rather because his foot was run over by a cab. nbd.

relationship advice

i had this discussion with harry, one of my elementary school kids, yesterday:

h: who is your boyfriend at ils?
a: like ... who am i dating? no one?
h: oh ... it's because you got here late, isn't it.

curious

today during journal time i was leaning over charles' shoulder to help him write out a sentence. distracted, he turned around and jabbed me in the boob, asking, "what's this, teacher?"

cafe marianne

we have discovered all-you-can-drink delicious red wine for W8500 a night. so. much. win.

photographic evidence of chuseok's occurrence

woo, other people finally posted pictures so here they are !!


i look like a mother hen in my ill-fitting hanbok. i'm not convinced that this is a good thing.


I AM SO HELPFUL !! (making songpyeong)


group pitcha !!!


the only individual kid shot that abby posted. this is daniel. for some reason all my kids decided that saluting was the new peace sign that day?


i love being on boats !! (on the delightful ferry to deokjeok-do prior to inundation with ocean spray.)


WE ARE ALREADY COLD AND SALTY AND SMELLY AND WET AND WE HAVEN'T EVEN GOTTEN TO THE BEACH YET YESSSSS


"let's just sit in the doorway to our tent and watch everyone set up camp and drink vodka and mango juice. it's just like a stoop in baltimore!"


in almost every picture from this weekend i am in a reclining position working on my savage tan. tragically, the only sunscreen we had was spf 30 so i am still ghostly pale. :(


YOGIIIIIIIIIIII our puppy mascot in what is probably one of the greatest pictures, ever.

happy chuseok!!

three weeks in this country and i'm yet to work a full week. so fabulous! we had a four-day weekend this week because of chuseok (korean thanksgiving). festivities began with korean day for the kindergarteners. here are my kids dressed in full hanbok:



(clockwise from left: eric, andrew, daniel, harry, marian, clara, lucy, charles, jin woo, and jason)

so wonderful!! we made delicious korean snacks and played korean games and generally ran around in circles while the korean teachers tried to get their shit together.

wednesday night john and scott and mike and i attempted to troll around seohyeon, presuming party party. unfortunately all found was open mic night at dublin, which was beyond tragic. i also had the opportunity to make out with our korean friend, who romantically unzipped his pants for me and waved his tongue around. koreans really know how to charm a lady. after scott and i dragged him home and possibly gave him a concussion, we all went back out for fucking delicious DUBU KIMCHI at four am. alcohol + cabbage + tofu + spicy = :) :) :) :) :)

early friday morning craig and abby and i left for camping for the weekend with five other kids. after a bus, metro, bus, cab, ferry, and cab, we arrived at our own adorable private beach (which i neglected to photograph but i will steal pictures once they are posted). it was absolutely beautiful and so warm and we could even swim !! it totally made up for not bathing all weekend and peeing on rocks. there's just something so magical about waking up in the morning, opening your door, having a hot dog, and laying out on the sand for ten hours. and having some more hot dogs.

oh yeah and there was a poodle with us! we got back this afternoon and i had the best shower, ever. it took several attempts to remove the ingrained sand from my scalp (our tent got super sandy within seconds of setting it up, so it ground in extra well during naps) but now i feel lovely.

best chuseok EVAR!!